Saturday, December 19, 2009


P120309PS-0605, originally uploaded by The White House.

You can read many things into a photo. That is what I read in this one.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

This would have made my head explode...

P101309PS-0797, originally uploaded by The White House.

Had I been on the WH South Lawn AND seen Los Lobos perform. WOW.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Obama family photo

Reminds me that the sibs and I need to get together for an updated portrait!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

This is what happens when self-delusion collides with Rashomon-style reality.

I've been thinking about how social media are forcing us to reexamine the choices we made along the way to becoming adults, and while I haven't written anything on that issue yet, I know that on some level, we're becoming more aware of "our version" of pivotal events in our lives, as well as "everyone else's version." I think it might create a level of anxiety and uncertainty that people fight to avoid as they get older, especially in a culture where personal reinvention is both hard-fought and worshipped, and yet the very act of change is attacked as inauthentic.

I'd forgotten about the non-social media version of that, and last night I found out how painful that really is.

You see, a million years ago, after I'd finally broken up with D, I'd chosen to forgive and forget. Forgive because we're all human -- forget for the sake of my sanity. Move on because there is a good friend beyond all the history. His wedding to E yesterday forced me to remember: because he wanted me there as a witness, because she didn't want me to talk about how we'd been dating when they met -- and as I'd suspected at the time, had started their relationship -- and because her father gleefully talked about how they'd met and were starting to get close AT THE VERY TIME I WAS STRUGGLING TO HOLD ON TO A RELATIONSHIP I KNEW WAS IN TROUBLE.

When M talked about seeing D on TV for the first time, his description was heartfelt: Here's the guy who's stealing my daughter's heart, and isn't he a talented, well-spoken man, blah blah blah. This is a guy who has two big dogs and hails from the west and rides motorcycles and plays guitar in a band and has long hair and climbs mountains and blah blah blah...

I am sure the look on my face was one of straight-up horror. I'm hoping enough people were drinking to not notice. I was sitting behind him -- so maybe that shielded me from the room.

If you think about it, marriage isn't just about how two people start a new chapter in their lives. During M's toast, I realized that it's also about trying to rewrite the past as you join a proper, sensible community of couples who try to meet the standard of no-drama marriage. M's version of how they met -- E's fears I'd say something outrageous and destroy the illusion of their early days together -- D's asking me please to "not go there..." It was collusion. THEIR version of events is the way things now are -- a fairy tale, scrubbed of the messiness that makes up life, predicated on a joint agreement to stay quiet. For the collusion to take hold and become the truth, "the best person" now has to melt into the past for their sake, taking her version of the story with her -- a version where she was the aggrieved party and finally threw in the towel.

The realization kept me in tears all night. Not only have I lost a friend -- I am once again face to face with my inability to find a love of my own, with my knack for selling myself short when I try, with my habit of refusing to see the truth, and with absolutely no power to stop the clock. Paradoxically, I am also face to face with the fear of not just being rejected on an intimate level, but also on a level where I just don't fit in with others' expectations of who THIS woman is supposed to be.

This is what happens when self-delusion collides with Rashomon-style reality.

Now what?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fashion and the political female....

Why do powerful women in Washington insist upon turning up their collars/lapels? It just looks wrong.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Importance Of Being Ivy League - Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Importance Of Being Ivy League - Ta-Nehisi Coates

Shared via AddThis

If ever there was a reason for me to start blogging, this post is it.

Think before you write.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Prince, hip replacements, and faith.

Just my two cents: is the denial of medical care based on religious grounds really in keeping with G--'s way? Does the potential of what many (okay, ME) would consider a degraded quality of life really outweighed by the sense that you're following G--'s word? If so, how? Isn't that really just selfishly setting yourself up as a "martyr?"

Now, if I may be so selfish: get the operation. Don't deny the fans more years of your concerts.

Yes, it was a beautiful day!

My birthday, May 20 -- I'd had the foresight to start my two-week staycation the day before, and the weather was fantastic the first week. The president's stretch in this photo is exactly the way I felt that day -- terrific! It's probably the best birthday I've enjoyed in years!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Sticks and Stones...

So, one of my favorite knitting bloggers got totally flamed today by a "designer" who didn't like her review of his design in the VK Holiday 2008 issue.  It's one thing to say, "Hey, I'm sorry you didn't like the design, but I had to make compromises in my vision to get the design published" and classily ignore (is that a word?  "classily?" anyway...) any attacks on your intelligence, your looks, your taste, etc.

It's another thing to get in the gutter and get personal.  Like they used to say on Ricki Lake, "You don't know me!"  You lose all your moral superiority, and the other person comes out looking like the hero.  Of course, I'm biased toward the knitting blogger, so there.

Here's what I said in the comments for her post (where she reprinted the guy's classless emails):

Touchy, touchy. I've always wondered about what really goes on in the minds of men who design women's clothes. 

More specifically, I've always had what I thought was the irrational belief that there was some misogynistic and control-freak tendencies at work in the minds of said male designers.

At least in Mr. Bennett's case, I don't think my belief is all that irrational.

Tip from someone who's in the public eye thanks to her job: it doesn't matter what they say about you -- what matters is that you're getting attention. No such thing as bad publicity. Clearly he didn't get that memo either.

And can we mention that Mr. Blackwell made a decades-long career out of insulting women's fashion choices -- and by extension their intellect? (See my thought about men designers and the way they view women above...)

And in what has to be the best expression of my state of mind right now: "unterag" -- pronounced in bad German as "oon der rag." :-D

Sunday, April 26, 2009

On the Twitter... your hostess with the mostest, WikiBobo!  I'm doing it mainly as a favor to my friend, TheTeditorial, but it turns out some of my relatives are on there as well.  Since I'm joined at the digits to the bberry, this should be a slightly more efficient way to fill in the gaps between when we talk -- 

Although for the next post, I want to ask the question:  Does Twitter make conversations a more truthful enterprise, since your in-between status updates fill in the gaps of knowledge between your conversations with other people?  Discuss.

Monday, April 20, 2009

A death in the "family..."

Just saw over on that Kay's husband Peter has passed away.  I don't know Kay, but I read her and Ann's blog pretty much every day, and I am sad for her loss.  

Head on over and leave a condolence note, why doncha?  Then, go through your stash and cast on for an afghan for AfA.  It's what Kay wants -- and the people of Afghanistan will thank you.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Late winter or early spring?

With nine days to go, according to the calendar, it's still late winter.  We've already had a couple of teaser days of spring-like weather -- the kind that inspire you to get to the gym, to open the windows, to turn off the furnace -- really, days that boost your mood in ways you didn't realize you needed!  

The reality check: when says snow is in the forecast overnight -- and means it!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

No pity parties here

I've been feeling out of sorts in recent weeks -- the state of my industry, the state of my life, a nasty bout of bronchitis -- imagine how I'd feel had I actually made some new year's resolutions!

And then this evening, I find out that a distant acquaintance on the West Coast, a lovely girl who co-owns a salon with her sister, has an aggressive form of brain cancer.  The kind that can outwit the best oncologists and treatments out there.


If I thought that losing my mom to lung cancer six years ago would permanently eliminate pity parties from my own life, I was wrong -- see the first paragraph -- but now the news about RP has me shaken to the core.

Live your life right now.  Quit holding your breath, people.  Be good to everyone you meet -- it's a mitzvah.